Comments on: Royal dance

By: debontherocks

debontherocks — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:00:51 +0000

Gorgeous, gorgeous, your girl, your words, this piece of time. Thank you!

By: Chumpy

Chumpy — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:19:17 +0000

What wonderfully crafted writing. Thank you also for a different perspective on the living grief for a parent who cannot and will not try to dance.

Oh, and no self-respecting Anglophile can be complete without the Blackadder take on the melodrama of Shakespeare and Royalty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM-Y1ch4b5c

By: Juliet

Juliet — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:01:56 +0000

I think this is one of my all time favourites of your posts. It’s magic.

I fear so often that my mother might die at 103 and I’ll still be sitting in that bar with our unfinished dance in my head. The way you describe it makes my chest clench in empathy.

I have been grabbed by the lungs like that often; but with a gratitude and a consolation (which eludes me at the time, mind you) that we still might have the chance to finish it.

And so we might, which is something you have reminded me to be grateful for, however impossible it seems.

By: angelina...in oakland

angelina...in oakland — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 03:15:21 +0000

It takes my breath away that you say things so concisely and inCISively (feeling the knife, cutting to the quick). A beautiful and heartbreaking post, thank you, as always, for sharing it!

angelina

By: BeethovenLives

BeethovenLives — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:54:28 +0000

Beautiful post. I love these little everyday stories, with a smear of philosophical musings.

My Dad died before I ever had a chance to tell him of my gayness. I honestly dont know how he would have felt, his only daughter, his “rat bag”, a lesbian. He never used to pressure me into doing stuff to my hair or put me in girl’s clothes like my Mum did, so maybe on some level he knew it was better to let me do my own thing. Maybe. I suppose every gay kid hopes on some level their parent’s already *know*.

And there’s nothing like cream tea! Can’t say I’ve had rose petal jam with it though. As an English person living in Devon and an out and proud Yankophile sometimes I forget the pleasures my own country has to offer.

By: Lesbian Dad

Lesbian Dad — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:53:30 +0000

Thank you so much. Thank you. O what a journey this whole thing is, eh?

By: jayfid

jayfid — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:44:56 +0000

I have two young daughters. One very girlish, in a way that seems similar to your’s. My older daughter, (but still only 9 years old), is “girly” as well but I have noticed throughout her short life that she also develops intense crushes on many women in that drift in and out of her life (teachers, leaders, friends of mine). My greatest hope is that if the lesbian life is the life for her, that when she’s in the proverbial St. Paul bar, sobbing into her hands, it’s because she is remembering how deep and unwavering her mother’s love and acceptance was, and how much she misses my hugs.

I think your writing and your love for your family is beautiful. You’re an inspiration.

~Jenn

By: annz

annz — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:24:07 +0000

@ullalauridsen, I whole-heartedly agree with you about “beautiful and moving,” but have to I respectfully disagree with the rest of your comment.

I find what you call the “literary flourish” to be the truest note in the piece, and its primary point, both literally and metaphorically.

Literally true, because practically everything that this magical child does when she is moving is a dance. (Maybe because I know her in real life, this is especially clear to me, but we’ve seen ample photographic evidence on this blog as well).

And metaphorically true, because this child WILL continue her “dance” all her life, and she is fortunate to have parents to participate in it who understand all of its complexities, twists and turns. And lucky for all of us, one of these parents photographs and writes about this family dance so honestly and clearly.

By: ullalauridsen

ullalauridsen — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:58:30 +0000

Beautiful and moving – except the last four words are a literary flurish and a false note. She wasn’t dancing. You introduced that as a metafor. The whole thing will be better without them.

By: Lesbian Dad

Lesbian Dad — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:11:53 +0000

Thank you both.

Smurf, that might be one of the most amazing things he ever said to me. He was born in 1921, listened to the Glenn Miller Band, served in the U.S. Navy in WWII, voted for Adlai Stevenson, and tuned in our crummy black & white TV to the moon landing. Many things are possible.

I can only imagine the ways these kids are going to stretch me, dimplecheek. And yet I know that the greatest challenges — the most difficult new dance steps — are of course going to be those that I can’t even imagine right now.

Rose petal jam. I can’t imagine how she wasn’tthere.