Denouement: forthcoming*
14 Comments Published November 6th, 2008 in Baba familias, Go hetero ally go!, Mostly a picture.
Outside my polling station at Totland, our kids’ favorite local haunt.
Being a pessimist is supposed to inoculate one against disappointment, but the dirty little secret is that we’re still disappointed.
Regarding the personal (denouement): Won’t be easy to come by for a while. So much, too big, too sad. So many worked so hard, to come so close. All of which, so hard to process, amidst the blinding light of Obama’s triumphant win. A dream deferred for 232 years, then come true. Racial barrier broken at the highest point imaginable, and on the same day another barrier is erected at the most emotionally intimate point imaginable.
Also, regarding the political (denouement): so far as I know as of this point (wee hours between Wednesday and Thursday), No on 8 continues to await the final count of the remaining absentee and provisional ballots. Out of some ten million votes cast, less than half a million (roughly 400,000) separate yes from no. Some speculate (know?) that the counties from which these are expected had not otherwise “trended” significantly enough against the proposition that they would swing the election. Regardless, No on 8 continues to wait for these results. [*see below for mid-day update, 6 Nov.]
Three law suits were filed against the proposition before the end of the day on Wednesday. Covered at the Los Angeles Times here on 5 Nov., and also here at Kos, and here at Pam’s House Blend. San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera, filing one of the three lawsuits on Wednesday, says:
The issue before the court today is of far greater consequence than marriage equality alone … Equal protection of the laws is not merely the cornerstone of the California Constitution, it is what separates constitutional democracy from mob rule tyranny. If allowed to stand, Prop 8 so devastates the principle of equal protection that it endangers the fundamental rights of any potential electoral minority — even for protected classes based on race, religion, national origin and gender. The proponents of Prop 8 waged a ruthless campaign of falsehood and fear, funded by millions of dollars from out-of-state interest groups. Make no mistake that their success in California has dramatically raised the stakes.
The legal consequences to families, whither the final official result, are unclear. Family law attorney Deborah Wald comments on the legal limbo Post-8 here.
Still to come: what we gained, even amidst the loss. Along with abundant thanks to all you who lent your vocal support and your supportive dollars (US or Candian!) to the battle. All that, when the numbness dissipates and the feeling returns to the tips of the typing fingers.
*[This just in: a final statement from the No on 8 campaign. And this slightly longer one at EQCA. So.]
Lesbian Dad is written by a parent who answers to the name "Baba" and works toward a world in which amor does indeed vincit omnia. 
…
Feeling your pain across the miles between the Left Coast and my home here in the Great Lakes State. While I did not have the chance to share in your joy of legally marrying my partner first, I do know the numbness and pain felt by all who now reside in a state that has chosen to amend their State constitution to prohibit such freedoms. It was a short four years ago that I was in your shoes, and ready to pack the bags to head for a more accepting environment. Instead, we chose to stay, to be out and proud in all that we do, to put a name to the discrimination we face regularly. Hang in there; don’t give up hope just yet. It may be just a whisper now but I can feel the winds of change stirring and soon enough it will be a hurricane force sweeping change across the entire nation.
Oh Polly. I can’t even… I never expected this. As much as I knew that this could happen, I never thought in a million years that it actually would. I spent most of yesterday listening to npr, trying to suck in as much hope as I could. It may have worked. I can’t quite tell yet. …such a betrayal…
We cry and we fight on. And we will work even harder. *insert revenge sentiment that prior to prop 8 I never would have thought I was capable of*
xoxo
I’m so sorry. I’m ashamed of my neighbors in Los Angeles County, which it looks like voted in favor of Prop 8 by a slim margin.
Forgive me for telling you how to feel, but disappointment is when you hope to get Reese’s pb cups in your halloween sack, and you get Reese’s pieces instead. This is flat out persecution.
And I totally plan on doing something about. Post coming tomorrow. Because, me? I’m not disappointed. I am morally outraged. I am seeing red. I am angry in my bones.
They won’t like me when I’m angry.
But I know us readers will.
I want the Bay Area to secede. Kinda joked about that in my previous several decades of life as a native-born Northern Californian. Now am serious as a heart attack.
Not the kind of sentiment befitting a wannabe Bodhisattva, which is why I’m trying to slowly sidle back into post-writing. Will try to keep the spittle of venom to the comments. And will fill up the nearest sippy cup with whisky (for me! for me! only Ripple for the kids) and watch for the sparks to come out of the computer.
Here we go. Buckle up. And hey: MA & CT? Battle gear back on.
“Christian Coalition of America Applauds Voters in California, Florida and Arizona for Abolishing Homosexual ‘Marriages,’” thanks to Pam at The Blend.
At christiannewswire.com/news/273468592.html.
i’ve noticed the anger and feeling of betrayal seep into me as well – i don’t feel that i welcomed those sentiments, but they’re here, so i’m trying to focus all of that as much as possible where it matters. yesterday i was strolling downtown and felt a sea of resentment bubble up as i passed two women sitting on a bench, one very pregnant, shopping bags in hand – in the sliver of a moment i had formulated in my head identities and life paths for these two individuals of whom i know nothing – images of a heteronormative capitalist christmas was swirling in my head and i was about to continue on in, blind judgment in tow, until i heard one snippet of their conversation “…i’m effing pissed prop 8 passed, i just can’t believe it.” – “me too,” the other responded. i felt embarrassed. it was such an important reminder that couldn’t have come too soon for me – this struggle won’t be won by anger alone – though it definitely has its motivational forces when properly channeled. now i have the job of transforming those feelings of betrayal into compassion and love – even for those who have yet to feel the same way towards me. and hope. after all, my peers (the younger voters) stood against prop 8 in resounding numbers – certainly reason enough to look forward – i’m looking as far to the day when we will join to fight for trans rights and those of homeless queer youth.
My hero, Audre Lorde, once said that you can never defend your city while shouting. I have LIVED by those words. I have made major life decisions based on that wisdom. And today I say bollocks. Tonight, I’m going to start screaming. And I might have to punch someone in the face. I’ve got 30 years of pent up aggression just waiting for the right fool to get in it’s path.
Christian Coalition, you’re up.
Erm, for a good tongue-lashing!
Because now, anger in the comments stream of LGBT blogs is being picked up and trumpeted as prosecutable “hate crimes”:
Surprise — Matt’s rage is once again misplaced, at Good As You.
Follow the various links if you actually want to read what folks on the other side of this debate are saying. My main goal for this nice little salon over here, aside from fostering an open-hearted venue for thoughtful and gracious reflection on matters feminist, progressive, and parental, is that it stay out of the searchlights of the Christian Right in its war on homosexuality. I kind of feel like a carbon-based life-form hiding in plain view on a Borg ship or something.
Just sending you some solidarity from Brighton in the UK. They can’t define our relationships, only we can do that. But can imagine the kick in the guts you’re feeling there…
Yep. Right in the solar plexus. Can’t breathe deeply without a pang. Leastwise not yet.
I’m glad the swearing-in of the new president is in late-January. I expect by then I’ll be able to feel that joy fully, and have digested what I’ll have had to have digested about this very, very, very ugly battle. I mean, some carful of bigots flipped off and cussed at my ten year old nephew when he stood on a street corner with a group of people calling for love. Really.
It’s proved an enormous challenge to my more overarching desire to love all, regardless. The only mitigation of the bitterness is that, if we had to choose (and dammit we shouldn’t), it’s better to have Obama in the White House and gay marriage set back than McCain in the White House and gay marriage victorious in CA (and AZ, and FL).
Sigh.
My mouth dropped open when I saw the results on wednesday, and I immediately thought of you. I can’t imagine how much mixed bitterness and joy with the Obama win, coupled with this setback, must hurt.
Someone I know put it best when she said that someday, we’ll look back at the way gay Americans are treated during this era and be incredulous about it. Sort of a “what the f*ck was THAT all about anyway?” frame of mind.
Man I can’t wait to say that!
Polly, I’m just really sad you even had to choose. I’ve read your comments here (too many) times, and my temper has subsided. A bit. Not much. But I’m trying.
Maybe that’s what’s getting me, the heartbreak of it all. On the heels of such an amazing day in our history, THIS happens? Can we stand 200 more years before this brand of bigotry is mended? I cannot imagine my great great great grandchildren having to still be fighting this fight. I just can’t.
It’s all just so Shakespearian. And my heart is broken for your family. I’d annull my marriage just to make a point, but I live in Canada. They’d be all, “Um, so what?”
Anyway, I’m still writing my get back at those meanies post, I’m just trying to take your lead is all. Smooches to your family.