Comments on: Grocery list: check. Pint-sized handcuffs: check.

By: imjudypooh

imjudypooh — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:38:59 +0000

Pardon me for laughing, but I’ve BEEN there. My girls are 2.5 years apart so about the same age gap as your kids. After one particularly horrible grocery trip with demon possessed children I started putting my oldest in the cart with the groceries and the youngest in the seat. Much to my surprise they liked that arrangement. Sure there were less groceries I could get and the occasional box of crackers or cookies pillaged during the outing, but much less bolting! And ya know, it didn’t involve handcuffs or duct tape.

By: Lesbian Dad

Lesbian Dad — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:34:34 +0000

‘Burnt pan’ and ‘burnt pan phone calls’ have now entered my lexicon, Chumpy, thank you very much for that.

And gwendomama, you are very kind. We all did a lot of good for one another at that conference, basically listening to one another tell our stories. I was honored to be able to have told mine, especially to an audience uniquely full of people who would know whereof I spoke. So thank you for listening with such heart.

When I recovered my composure later in the day, I talked to our daughter about why it was that I was so upset when she slipped out of sight (and stayed there for so long). It was so hard — as you describe — to walk the line between making the proper impression and pulling the veil back on the viciousness of the world too early. Ick. One parenting task I dread a whole hell of a lot more than poopy diapers.

By: gwendomama

gwendomama — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 20:19:22 +0000

wow. wow.

I tried so many times to talk to you (or just stand next to you) over the blogher weekend, after you stole my heart (along with about 600 others) at the community keynote. you were always surrounded – I am reticent to interrupt. but i lived those words – i held my breath with you – i remembered the breath holding, the hope, time moving ever so slowly- during my entire last pregnancy (after our son had died).
thank you for sharing them.

when my daughter was around 4, I lost my patience and scolded her wildly and angrily for hiding in racks of clothes, not coming out when i called her. she wanted to know WHY i was so scared, so upset, so afraid of her being out of my sight.
I told her there were people out there whose brains worked very differently from ours. There were bad people who would hurt people, and especially children, because they could not fight back. She asked me, “why?”
All I could tell her was that these bad people *had no respect for life*.
Apparently, recalling the last time she had heard these words, in the context of an attempted explanation to ‘what is war?’, she said, “OOOOHHHH! Like GEORGE BUSH!!”

yes honey, close enough. Stay away from child abductors and George Bush.

By: Chumpy

Chumpy — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 05:55:38 +0000

Your satanic text was reminiscent of our ‘burnt pan’ phone calls: named after a senior colleague once very publicly took a call from his wife at work. She was phoning him in a state of great distress for guidance as she had burnt a pan whilst trying to look after their 3 children.
At the time we mocked the futility and helplessness of it. Fancy phoning someone for that!
The burnt pan calls that permeate our daily contact between work and home are a continued source of mirth. (Though wifey insists her breathless ‘Where have you lost all the dummies?’ was not burnt pan).
Oh that we had seen the omen for what it was…..

By: Lesbian Dad

Lesbian Dad — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:47:56 +0000

O sister, woe betide everyone when you are! With any luck they’ll be in college by then and you’ll just be shredding up the begonias or something.

By: giddings

giddings — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:24:24 +0000

As they get older you realize that they aren’t cute enough anymore for anyone to actually take them. Well, that and that the potential hijackers know you don’t have any way to pay any ransom anyway… Eight is now so anticipating freedom that she’ll lag far behind on nearly any expedition. And I mean WAYYYYY behind. I’ve taken to allowing the, as they say, ‘natural consequence’ happen and move to preparing to hear my name over the store’s loudspeaker that they’ve found my child.

Harsh, I know. And I’m not even menopausal!

By: pourlebebe

pourlebebe — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:52:54 +0000

That sounds harrowing. Can you leave her home when you grocery shop (not by herself, obviously)? It need not be punishment, if you’re not into that, but you can calmly explain to her that it is the logical consequence of not listening to Baba while out at the store. She’s old enough to understand that she shouldn’t be running off like that for a variety of reasons, and smart enough to understand when she misses out on something fun. Perhaps coupled with a new adventure where she can run and hide to her heart’s content to show her the appropriate (and safe) way to run and hide and play.
Just a thought. Glad it wasn’t me!

By: Lesbian Dad

Lesbian Dad — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:35:49 +0000

You are too kind, bossanders (and welcome!). I’m guessing I handled it well, only if the “Laissez faire” strategy counts as handling it well. Laissez faire whilst wiping the brow frequently. I think the girlie would have called it “Laissez les bon temps roulez,” or however they spell it down in the Big Easy.

By: bosssanders

bosssanders — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:06:10 +0000

Eeek. Wow, you handled that incredibly well. I sure hope my daughter grows up to be as petite as I , because I’m basically screwed otherwise. I absolutely loved this one by the way.

By: AllieGreenhouse

AllieGreenhouse — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:04:22 +0000

Online grocery shopping. Honestly, it’s a gift from the goddess. I still have horrible, sweat inducing memories of a trip with a four year old that involved a big, white teddy bear in a Christmas gift display and screaming. Clicking a mouse while sipping tea is so much easier. These days my kids are beyond the tantrum in the aisles stage but it means I can avoid other people’s kids doing it!