I am breathing (a bit) easier after these many soothing (&/or commiserating) words. And waiting eagerly for The Paper Bag Princess to wing its way to my local indie bookstore, and thence to my clammy little hands.

But my 3-year-old daughter loves Cinderella. I cringed when she first glommed onto her. Then I realized, of all those dang Disney princesses, at least my daughter’s adoring/emulating of the one with the most real wit, and who, unprovoked, evinces gratitude for the few good things in her life. Thankfully, so far my little one’s not much interested in the other D-princesses. And she loves to dress up as Darth Vader just as much.

As parent to a boy and a girl, I’ve come to feel that discouraging either from gender-normed interests isn’t much different than restricting their choices based on the same criteria. I am tickled when they go against those norms. But some of them seem to naturally fit the kids, too, as when our girlie takes to a Cinderella costume, or my son wants more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics.

I dislike Barbie and all she can represent. And yet. If either of my kids is totally jonesing for one, I hope I can let them explore the interest, then start conversations meant to guide them to question their assumptions, like why one thing is a “girl color” or a “boy’s toy”. I’d like to let my little monsters reject or accept things on their own terms. And also happily encourage them in balancing directions, as when our son wants to read Powerpuff Girls comics, too, or when our daughter chooses a big rubber snake as a souvenir from the zoo.

By the by, “The Paper Bag Princess” is an awesome one to throw into the reading mix! Friends of mine saw a story similar to kaygigi’s unfold - my son and I had given it to the older of their two very-girly girls as a birthday present, because we both liked it much, and the recipient was initially quite incensed, according to her mother - “That’s not how a princess story goes!” But eventually it shifted the wee gal’s thinking, so I heard.

We love the kickass attitude, with a loyal side-kick and a need to do good. Even if it means getting muddy and bloody. heh.

Both girls had a short Barbie/Cinderella phase. It didn’t last long (thank goodness!). We try very hard to show them that there’s sooo much marketing which is fueled by the almighty dollar.

::sigh::

Hang in there, LD. Princesses come and Barbies go, but Baba is forever.

Our oldest (12 now) was deeply into dolls and girlie things, and still is somewhat. But she also plays ice hockey. I think (hope) they can find a healthy balance. I’m dreading puberty - I didn’t do well with it on my turn through and really don’t want to get into the complexities of makeup and hair and accessories. So far she’s being practical, but I know it won’t last. That’s what my mom is for

Glad I don’t have to raise children - I suspect I might be grossly inept.

great blog!

janet

Under 1’s tutelage they were lovingly cared for, dressed and undressed, had their hair washed, cut(!) and dried. Keen big-sister-copier that he is, 2 is also a Barbie fan. His games are totally different but just as lovingly devoted. With him, they career around the house at full pelt, naked, matted hair crowned with the mandatory hair bobble, and splash water over the sides of the bath.

Noisily so: perhaps the shrieking is Barbie, protesting her fate.

I must also, however, relay a rather funny story related to The Paper Bag Princess. My friend in my graduate program brought his five year old daughter into the department one day. They had just come from visiting Santa and she proudly relayed that she had asked Santa for a Princess Barbie. My friend was rolling his eyes at this suggestion and gently reminded her that Santa would maybe bring her a Princess, but Mommy and Daddy didn’t allow Barbie. He was clearly struggling with his daughter’s princess obsession, so I began to relay the story of the Paper Bag Princess (from memory, gah). At the end, my friend, who was clearly pleased with this feminist retelling of a common story, asked his daughter what she thought of the story. She said she didn’t like it because “princesses are supposed to be rescued by princes because girls are supposed to be rescued by boys.” This was a kid who at age three, told her father to stop “opwesting” her when he told her to stop throwing rocks at the department picnic… hopefully princess tales are easier to unlearn than Marxism.