Here the issue was a little different. My partner was too old to carry our babe, so I was the designated incubator. We discussed the mom/mommy thing for a long time, but felt that similar or identical words would be too confusing. I too suggested aba, ima, etc. but they evoked an older woman to me (given that the word for gran in our family is oma or boma for great-gran).

I also wanted to make sure that my partner would be fully addressed as mom, to confirm her position as mother. Then, one day, I had an aha-erlebnis, while signing my mail, which I always do with a capital for my name. So I became ‘emmy’, M for mama, while my partner is ‘mama’ by name.

We are now slowly entering the ‘so and so has a mum and dad’ territory. But like the true little Virgo that she is, she launches inane comments at you, which in hindsight reveal much more than you think, and what she is thinking about. Kids, they never cease to amaze me.

I know a Baba across the street who’s looking to carry her and her partner’s next child. Also very much a butch mama. This whole gender/parenthood/biology/spirit connection thing is so dang interesting. All twisted in a gorgeous pretzel, different shapes for different people. I’m just really intrigued by the extent to which a lot of us are nibbling on the same shaped pretzel.

And no, I don’t thing that’s the pain killers talking. I’m afraid I mix metaphors that bad under the influence of nothing but oxygen.