Comments on: The F-word bites Baba in the @ss http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/ notes from the crossroads of mother and father Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:29:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Pee happens at LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-62093 Pee happens at LesbianDad Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:40:21 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-62093 [...] “Jesus H. Christ on a Raft!” I think to myself, resorting to one of the more favored profanities of my dearly departed mother, but deftly managing not to utter this new turn of phrase out loud to my velcro-eared toddler. Just yet. (Baba’s learnt her lesson.) [...] [...] “Jesus H. Christ on a Raft!” I think to myself, resorting to one of the more favored profanities of my dearly departed mother, but deftly managing not to utter this new turn of phrase out loud to my velcro-eared toddler. Just yet. (Baba’s learnt her lesson.) [...]

]]> By: O holy cow at LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-58214 O holy cow at LesbianDad Mon, 17 Dec 2007 11:06:44 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-58214 [...] To my amazement, she remained herself at some essential level throughout the whole fit. She wanted Mama “Right this very INSTANT!” I have no clue where she heard that phrase (her invisible friend Sally, whence she plucked the F-word?), but danged if she didn’t employ it with surgical precision. Also, at one point she staggered over to her Mama’s diaper bag, produced a packet of tissue, staggered back to me, and in a slightly less manic, slightly less two-tone guttural scream, allowed as to the fact that she needed “a blow,” which I administered to her ever-reddening nose. Once suitably wiped, she returned to the zigging and zagging and ranting and raving. [...] [...] To my amazement, she remained herself at some essential level throughout the whole fit. She wanted Mama “Right this very INSTANT!” I have no clue where she heard that phrase (her invisible friend Sally, whence she plucked the F-word?), but danged if she didn’t employ it with surgical precision. Also, at one point she staggered over to her Mama’s diaper bag, produced a packet of tissue, staggered back to me, and in a slightly less manic, slightly less two-tone guttural scream, allowed as to the fact that she needed “a blow,” which I administered to her ever-reddening nose. Once suitably wiped, she returned to the zigging and zagging and ranting and raving. [...]

]]> By: Hello chickens, have you come home to roost? « blue milk http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-53602 Hello chickens, have you come home to roost? « blue milk Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:42:41 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-53602 [...] As it turns out I wasn’t sickened. I had the decency to feel a little taken aback and so did her father who looked at me, eyes widened in surprise with a “so what do we do now” expression. (Oh parenting, constantly throwing you into situations you haven’t had time to find a position on and then criticising you later for inconsistency and disunity). I thought blankly for a second and then I remembered reading this post. Thank you blogging, you’ve taught me all I need to know about parenting. [...] [...] As it turns out I wasn’t sickened. I had the decency to feel a little taken aback and so did her father who looked at me, eyes widened in surprise with a “so what do we do now” expression. (Oh parenting, constantly throwing you into situations you haven’t had time to find a position on and then criticising you later for inconsistency and disunity). I thought blankly for a second and then I remembered reading this post. Thank you blogging, you’ve taught me all I need to know about parenting. [...]

]]> By: LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-50516 LesbianDad Wed, 14 Nov 2007 09:56:30 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-50516 Yowza, people! First off, you are so fu-- oops! You are so frickin' hilarious. It felt like I went out to pee right when the party got really fun. Also, so many of you are so very consoling. And here I thought I had made a huge guffaw (the beloved often speaks as if English were not her first language, and pawns gems like this off on a regular basis; she meant "gaffe," one time, but went with "guffaw" until I gently corrected her). But so I thought I'd made a huge guffaw, and actually several of you have the same instincts as me. Alas, all this parenting stuff. So much of it simply boils down to instinct. Or does it all boil down to instinct? I, like <b>librarygrrl</b>, was raised by a sailor mouth ma. Dead ringer for Mrs. Butterworth, but lord love her when she got behind the wheel she left a blue streak behind us. Bless her soul. Apple didn't seem to roll too very far from the tree. I love <b>Att's</b> graduated scale of profanity. I am going to bring this to the beloved for her learned consideration. I'll just have to note that the "mother of 'em all" edged its way onstage just a <i>hair</i> too soon. <b>Chumpy</b>, I'm honored by your praise, and do hope to continue to earn your high regard. The hands-down, single-most fantastic thing about this musing in public business is the community of kindred spirits we tap into. Vilkommen, bienvenue, welcome! And <b>violetta</b>, thanks for the Cockney rhyming slang page. Of course I scanned the G-rated page and then bopped on over to the "taboo" page, which I found to be the dog's bollocks. I am far more tempted to teach her these as proper synonyms for the narsty verbiage, but then of course we could never travel in the UK after that, and I'd so very much like to take her to have some strawberries and clotted cream in the Lake Country one day, in honor of her Anglophile grandma and namesake, may she rest her foul-mouthed Khyber Pass in peace. Yowza, people! First off, you are so fu– oops! You are so frickin’ hilarious. It felt like I went out to pee right when the party got really fun.

Also, so many of you are so very consoling. And here I thought I had made a huge guffaw (the beloved often speaks as if English were not her first language, and pawns gems like this off on a regular basis; she meant “gaffe,” one time, but went with “guffaw” until I gently corrected her). But so I thought I’d made a huge guffaw, and actually several of you have the same instincts as me.

Alas, all this parenting stuff. So much of it simply boils down to instinct. Or does it all boil down to instinct?

I, like librarygrrl, was raised by a sailor mouth ma. Dead ringer for Mrs. Butterworth, but lord love her when she got behind the wheel she left a blue streak behind us. Bless her soul. Apple didn’t seem to roll too very far from the tree.

I love Att’s graduated scale of profanity. I am going to bring this to the beloved for her learned consideration. I’ll just have to note that the “mother of ‘em all” edged its way onstage just a hair too soon.

Chumpy, I’m honored by your praise, and do hope to continue to earn your high regard. The hands-down, single-most fantastic thing about this musing in public business is the community of kindred spirits we tap into. Vilkommen, bienvenue, welcome!

And violetta, thanks for the Cockney rhyming slang page. Of course I scanned the G-rated page and then bopped on over to the “taboo” page, which I found to be the dog’s bollocks. I am far more tempted to teach her these as proper synonyms for the narsty verbiage, but then of course we could never travel in the UK after that, and I’d so very much like to take her to have some strawberries and clotted cream in the Lake Country one day, in honor of her Anglophile grandma and namesake, may she rest her foul-mouthed Khyber Pass in peace.

]]> By: Vikki http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48807 Vikki Wed, 07 Nov 2007 14:54:54 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48807 We have a child who likes to get to people so, after he heard the f-word, began to use it regularly in very mixed company (including my mother who does not take kindly to such language). We had to take a harder line. Our two year old actually said, "Dammit mama". At least she used it in the proper context. We have a child who likes to get to people so, after he heard the f-word, began to use it regularly in very mixed company (including my mother who does not take kindly to such language). We had to take a harder line. Our two year old actually said, “Dammit mama”. At least she used it in the proper context.

]]> By: SarahLu http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48586 SarahLu Tue, 06 Nov 2007 22:00:03 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48586 I am totally on board with your Profanity Game Plan. Yes, she does seem a teensy bit young to be in profanity cahoots with you, but clearly she's brilliant beyond her years. My older son dropped the f bomb for the first time when he was 17 months. More than a teensy bit on the young side, but he was talking in sentences then, and he's always been on the precocious side. He couldn't have heard the word more than a handful of times. He was riding his little fire truck thing around the house, and I believe, got it stuck on the rug. He struggled a bit to get loose, and said "f*ing b*tch", with such the perfect amount of exasperation I couldn't help but applaud his context. I mean, what else do you say when your fire truck is stuck on something? He was, of course, much too young to understand appropriate vs. inappropriate words, and my speech became peppered with (and remains thus) fudge, drat, gosh, dag nab it, and so on, and so forth. But I completely agree with what you said. Grown ups are 'do what I say, not what I do' much too often, and there's really no harm in swearing as long as you aren't corrupting fellow preschoolers. I think what you've done is show your daughter you're a genuine and caring parent, who will always be on her side and tell her the truth. Well done. I am totally on board with your Profanity Game Plan. Yes, she does seem a teensy bit young to be in profanity cahoots with you, but clearly she’s brilliant beyond her years.
My older son dropped the f bomb for the first time when he was 17 months. More than a teensy bit on the young side, but he was talking in sentences then, and he’s always been on the precocious side. He couldn’t have heard the word more than a handful of times.
He was riding his little fire truck thing around the house, and I believe, got it stuck on the rug. He struggled a bit to get loose, and said “f*ing b*tch”, with such the perfect amount of exasperation I couldn’t help but applaud his context. I mean, what else do you say when your fire truck is stuck on something? He was, of course, much too young to understand appropriate vs. inappropriate words, and my speech became peppered with (and remains thus) fudge, drat, gosh, dag nab it, and so on, and so forth. But I completely agree with what you said. Grown ups are ‘do what I say, not what I do’ much too often, and there’s really no harm in swearing as long as you aren’t corrupting fellow preschoolers. I think what you’ve done is show your daughter you’re a genuine and caring parent, who will always be on her side and tell her the truth.
Well done.

]]> By: Ampersandprime http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48575 Ampersandprime Tue, 06 Nov 2007 20:58:39 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48575 p.s. I too LOLL'ed. And really appreciated how you handled it. p.s. I too LOLL’ed. And really appreciated how you handled it.

]]> By: Ampersandprime http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48574 Ampersandprime Tue, 06 Nov 2007 20:53:12 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48574 I could tell you the story of what happens when children are home educated by a VPM (very profane mom). Fortunately, they were in school until fourth grade, so the damage was delayed, for the most part, as I had a corporate workplace as an outlet for my potty mouth. My son was always, instinctively, very selective about where he used it and, even at 15, still is. My daughter? Not so much. I had to teach her that, as with other differences in values, some people will be offended, even sad, at the word, and others will love it as much as we do. : ) As always, the key is a bit of discernment. She's respectful, but still working on that discernment part. I could tell you the story of what happens when children are home educated by a VPM (very profane mom). Fortunately, they were in school until fourth grade, so the damage was delayed, for the most part, as I had a corporate workplace as an outlet for my potty mouth.

My son was always, instinctively, very selective about where he used it and, even at 15, still is. My daughter? Not so much. I had to teach her that, as with other differences in values, some people will be offended, even sad, at the word, and others will love it as much as we do. : ) As always, the key is a bit of discernment. She’s respectful, but still working on that discernment part.

]]> By: Isobel http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48563 Isobel Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:42:44 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48563 My little one looked at her toy box a couple weeks back and said, with no rancor or obvious intention, and said "it's all f*ed" up. I asked her if she meant messed up, and she said "yeah." That was all, because I really don't think she understood the power of the word. On the other hand, about a week ago when i had been gone way too long and our Baba was at her wit's end, I came home to my little one saying, about nothing in particular, "That's disgusting, goddammit." Hmm, where did she hear that? Could it be...from Baba, not 10 minutes before? We didn't react much to that one either -- just cleared the deck and gave Baba a break. We'll see if these words continue. One of our neighbors tells his son those are grown-up words. That works for now, at least while they still believe that soda and gum are only for grown-ups. I recall vividly a time when I was about 9 or 10 and referred to one of our neighbors as "that old drunk," in front of my mom and another neighbor. Boy, that didn't go over too well. I'm sure I had heard my parents talk about it. I was just trying to be grown-up and engage in their conversation. Oops. My little one looked at her toy box a couple weeks back and said, with no rancor or obvious intention, and said “it’s all f*ed” up. I asked her if she meant messed up, and she said “yeah.” That was all, because I really don’t think she understood the power of the word. On the other hand, about a week ago when i had been gone way too long and our Baba was at her wit’s end, I came home to my little one saying, about nothing in particular, “That’s disgusting, goddammit.” Hmm, where did she hear that? Could it be…from Baba, not 10 minutes before?

We didn’t react much to that one either — just cleared the deck and gave Baba a break. We’ll see if these words continue.

One of our neighbors tells his son those are grown-up words. That works for now, at least while they still believe that soda and gum are only for grown-ups.

I recall vividly a time when I was about 9 or 10 and referred to one of our neighbors as “that old drunk,” in front of my mom and another neighbor. Boy, that didn’t go over too well. I’m sure I had heard my parents talk about it. I was just trying to be grown-up and engage in their conversation. Oops.

]]> By: AllieGreenhouse http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48558 AllieGreenhouse Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:10:05 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/11/05/the-f-word-bites-baba-in-the-ss/#comment-48558 We've always explained that some words that we use at home are not acceptable in the wider world. Both the kids certainly know a wide range of swear words... They don't swear much - if at all. Our son is seven and, at the moment, is policing *my* language. Just today he told me off when I was chatting with friends in the park and declared something to be cr*p! We’ve always explained that some words that we use at home are not acceptable in the wider world. Both the kids certainly know a wide range of swear words… They don’t swear much - if at all. Our son is seven and, at the moment, is policing *my* language. Just today he told me off when I was chatting with friends in the park and declared something to be cr*p!

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