Whatever gets you to the checkout stand, baby
4 Comments Published June 20th, 2007 in Mostly a picture, Re: the lil' monkey.
I’m not even apologetic. I got me a system and it works. An 8 oz. bottle of yogurt drink takes us through 75% of the grocery list with minimal incident. The remaining 25% is up to The Fates, who as we all know can have a sick sense of humor.
4 Responses to “Whatever gets you to the checkout stand, baby”
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Lesbian Dad is written by a parent who answers to the name "Baba" and works toward a world in which amor does indeed vincit omnia. 
Y'all just make me smile. Plain & simple. 
NO! Please stop that! Have you checked the sugar content of that thing? It will make her SO fat. And because it makes her feel full, she will eat less real food, and end up malnourished – in particular, she will get too little iron.
Eventually, you will have to discontinue the tradition. Why wait till she has grown fat? If you are unwilling to break the habit of eating while shopping, you can give her an apple or a banana. Especially the apple takes a while to gnaw through.
I think I know what you are thinking: it is too late. It is a tradition now, and the fuss she will make, if I hand her an apple instead! Well, I know, I’ve raised three kids, but really, how many times will she scream before she accepts the new rules? Two? Three?
I can see that you are doing a great job as baba, and its none of my business, I know, but still – take some advice from someone who has been there.
Kind regards, Ulla
Wow, I’m impressed that only 25% is in the hands of the fates.
The last time I took Noah grocery shopping was last week. In addition to buying a farmers market bakery giant fig bar, and doling it out bit by bit, I also handed him every item that went into the cart except the meat and the milk (too messy and too heavy, respectively). Oh and the apples because I thought he would try to eat through the plastic bag.
By the end, half his face and arms were coated with fig goo, plus there were gobs of it in his hair. And he managed to grab the little paper sack when I wasn’t looking so he “ate” the last 1/3 with gleeful independence. But as you said, whatever works.
Well I might have said “whatever works,” but after that dire warning from Ulla, eeeek! We are changing course S.T.A.T.! And not a moment too soon! Look what we found in bed this morning, where our sweet little girl once was:
No, seriously. You should see how many brussels sprouts she had to eat her way through to get to that (organic, fruit juice-sweetened) yogurt drink. After all, this was a small, neighborhood natural grocery in Berkeley. I would have been spanked (and hard!) by at least five other wool-socked, Birkenstocked shoppers had it gone in the reverse order.
Wow – well, it’s sure a good thing that there’s folks out here in the big world wide internets that are around to correct your grave, and dire parenting mistakes, Huh, Baba?
Good thing Ulla spoke up, because I sure needed that reminder of how to take care of Malka, too – because, you know, I was making her fat and malnourishing her.
I’m glad I saw this, so that I can be prepared to change my wicked ways.
Now pardon me while I go and get a small bag of Annie’s organic Cheddar bunnies for Malka’s ride home in the stroller and replace them with an apple.