Comments on: Tilt! http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/ notes from the crossroads of mother and father Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:54:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Grocery list: check. Pint-sized handcuffs: check. at Lesbian Dad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-238243 Grocery list: check. Pint-sized handcuffs: check. at Lesbian Dad Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:00:08 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-238243 [...] to the little platform they have for writing checks and processing credit cards and such. This was Popcicle Debacle, version [...] [...] to the little platform they have for writing checks and processing credit cards and such. This was Popcicle Debacle, version [...]

]]> By: Isobel http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-4940 Isobel Mon, 26 Mar 2007 23:33:53 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-4940 It's also a HIGHLY heterosexist book, assuming without question not only that all families have a mom and a dad but also that the dad is at the office while the mom is at home, but nonetheless I took comfort in knowing that my monkey is probably moving into the difficult half-year mark. It’s also a HIGHLY heterosexist book, assuming without question not only that all families have a mom and a dad but also that the dad is at the office while the mom is at home, but nonetheless I took comfort in knowing that my monkey is probably moving into the difficult half-year mark.

]]> By: LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-1450 LesbianDad Fri, 02 Mar 2007 05:06:36 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-1450 Thank you so much for this. So nice to have this comment today, too, after we've been seeing increasingly frequent flare-ups of just what you describe. Trying to make sense of any pattern in her needs is a tempting, but pointless, task. But the dearness is there, still, too. Wheew. Good thing for all of us. I just checked out the Louse Bates Ames book you both mention, and was braced by the subtitle. <a href="http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?isbn=9780440506386&atch=r&atchi=71723830" rel="nofollow">Your Two Year-Old: Terrible or Tender</a>. Thank you so much for this. So nice to have this comment today, too, after we’ve been seeing increasingly frequent flare-ups of just what you describe. Trying to make sense of any pattern in her needs is a tempting, but pointless, task. But the dearness is there, still, too. Wheew. Good thing for all of us.

I just checked out the Louse Bates Ames book you both mention, and was braced by the subtitle. Your Two Year-Old: Terrible or Tender.

]]> By: CatLoaf http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-1449 CatLoaf Fri, 02 Mar 2007 04:01:21 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-1449 So glad to have found this blog, and this post! Our Sweet Pea is 2 1/2 also, and has been wonderful in every way, until a week ago. Similar meltdowns, irrational (to us) demands, and general exhaustion for everyone. Cats peeing in beds, BioMom sick, Sweet Pea sick, and so on. I've been reading the book lsobel mentioned, Your Two Year Old, which is by Louise Bates Ames, and it has been unbelievably helpful. We thought that someone had taken our sweet boy and replaced him with Sybil. Turns out, he's just a typical 2.5-- a walking ball of need with an inability to modulate his emotions or impulses. He honestly can't choose between 2 options right now, so he wants both, or neither. Shattering sobs are a frequent response to simple questions. Then the next minute he's his usual charming lovable Sweet Pea self. His emotions are scary and chaotic, so he needs us to provide as much love and support as possible. So glad to have found this blog, and this post! Our Sweet Pea is 2 1/2 also, and has been wonderful in every way, until a week ago. Similar meltdowns, irrational (to us) demands, and general exhaustion for everyone. Cats peeing in beds, BioMom sick, Sweet Pea sick, and so on.

I’ve been reading the book lsobel mentioned, Your Two Year Old, which is by Louise Bates Ames, and it has been unbelievably helpful. We thought that someone had taken our sweet boy and replaced him with Sybil. Turns out, he’s just a typical 2.5– a walking ball of need with an inability to modulate his emotions or impulses. He honestly can’t choose between 2 options right now, so he wants both, or neither. Shattering sobs are a frequent response to simple questions. Then the next minute he’s his usual charming lovable Sweet Pea self. His emotions are scary and chaotic, so he needs us to provide as much love and support as possible.

]]> By: Isobel http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-730 Isobel Sat, 10 Feb 2007 08:04:19 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-730 I recently read a bit of a book called Your Two Year Old. It tries to convince one that two is actually an easy age and it's 2 1/2 when all hell breaks loose. I think in my particular monkey's case, she's either super advanced or in a couple months we're gonna hit a 9.0 on the Richter over here across the street, but...maybe in your monkey's case, 2 1/2 is right on. I also STILL have to reflect that she is one of the calmest kids I know, but I will grant you that I was not a fly on the wall that particular day. Our little monkey has had a wicked case of diaper rash these past couple days coupled with lots of poops, and every time we force her onto the changing table we then have to double force her to allow us to clean her and triple force her to allow us to put cream on. Somehow I think cream has come to represent pain so she immediately starts screaming "no cream, no cream!" I tried changing a poop stand-up fashion today, not my favorite but better than forcing her again. I got her to do downward dog for wiping, no problem -- until she downward dogged too far and smashed her lip into the bathroom floor. Blood in the mouth, poop remnants on the booty... not fun. So tonight Baba tried something different. 15 minutes with our monkey on the table, with Baba calmly and gently taking it one step at a time, giving her a cool paper towel for her rash, slow, slow, not forcing..and explaining that the cream is like when we take medicine when we're sick. 15 minutes. By the end: "can I put some cream on?" "okay." I recently read a bit of a book called Your Two Year Old. It tries to convince one that two is actually an easy age and it’s 2 1/2 when all hell breaks loose. I think in my particular monkey’s case, she’s either super advanced or in a couple months we’re gonna hit a 9.0 on the Richter over here across the street, but…maybe in your monkey’s case, 2 1/2 is right on. I also STILL have to reflect that she is one of the calmest kids I know, but I will grant you that I was not a fly on the wall that particular day.

Our little monkey has had a wicked case of diaper rash these past couple days coupled with lots of poops, and every time we force her onto the changing table we then have to double force her to allow us to clean her and triple force her to allow us to put cream on. Somehow I think cream has come to represent pain so she immediately starts screaming “no cream, no cream!” I tried changing a poop stand-up fashion today, not my favorite but better than forcing her again. I got her to do downward dog for wiping, no problem — until she downward dogged too far and smashed her lip into the bathroom floor. Blood in the mouth, poop remnants on the booty… not fun.

So tonight Baba tried something different. 15 minutes with our monkey on the table, with Baba calmly and gently taking it one step at a time, giving her a cool paper towel for her rash, slow, slow, not forcing..and explaining that the cream is like when we take medicine when we’re sick. 15 minutes. By the end: “can I put some cream on?” “okay.”

]]> By: LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-720 LesbianDad Fri, 09 Feb 2007 19:03:51 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-720 Thank you, Momai and Liza, for the props on parenting and recording thereof. I look at the calendar and note that there are 365 days/yr, plus, if all goes well, another 16 or so with her under my roof, during which I have the opportunity to either succeed or botch things up. That day, after an hour's time at the pharmacy, we went home both okay. I'm sure there'll be other kinds of days. (Mama said there would be days like this...). And Vikki: yegods. Neighbor calls to 911. I fear it will be in our future, I just don't know when. How ominous. Thank you, Momai and Liza, for the props on parenting and recording thereof. I look at the calendar and note that there are 365 days/yr, plus, if all goes well, another 16 or so with her under my roof, during which I have the opportunity to either succeed or botch things up. That day, after an hour’s time at the pharmacy, we went home both okay. I’m sure there’ll be other kinds of days. (Mama said there would be days like this…).

And Vikki: yegods. Neighbor calls to 911. I fear it will be in our future, I just don’t know when. How ominous.

]]> By: Liza http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-703 Liza Thu, 08 Feb 2007 01:35:43 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-703 You are such an amazing writer. I feel like I was there, a fly hovering over the popcicle case and following the two of you out to your car. I hope I can remember these things as Noah enters the toddler years. You are such an amazing writer. I feel like I was there, a fly hovering over the popcicle case and following the two of you out to your car.

I hope I can remember these things as Noah enters the toddler years.

]]> By: Momai http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-702 Momai Wed, 07 Feb 2007 23:25:50 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-702 I totally applaud your parenting style. Were this post in a magazine, I would rip it out and post it on my fridge for several years. As it is, consider yourself permanently bookmarked! I totally applaud your parenting style. Were this post in a magazine, I would rip it out and post it on my fridge for several years. As it is, consider yourself permanently bookmarked!

]]> By: Vikki http://www.lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-700 Vikki Wed, 07 Feb 2007 19:36:09 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/2007/02/05/tilt/#comment-700 Maria Montessori also wrote a lot about the problems with external reinforcement. I aspire to instilling internal motivation in my children in all situations but I am quite imperfect...much to my own dismay. My son is very loud. He is louder than any other child I know. When he is sad or angry, everyone knows it. I usually have a lot of empathy but it is harder to empathize when neighbors (who don't see his tear stained face in the front window) approach while you unload the car and ask if they should call 911 because they hear screaming and are worried that someone is being attacked. Maria Montessori also wrote a lot about the problems with external reinforcement. I aspire to instilling internal motivation in my children in all situations but I am quite imperfect…much to my own dismay.

My son is very loud. He is louder than any other child I know. When he is sad or angry, everyone knows it. I usually have a lot of empathy but it is harder to empathize when neighbors (who don’t see his tear stained face in the front window) approach while you unload the car and ask if they should call 911 because they hear screaming and are worried that someone is being attacked.

]]>