After the wedding

Gone this weekend at a (straight) friend’s wedding in Seattle. Worked it as designated (lesbo) photographer. News flash (a): one (straight) man drew my rarely unleashed butch wrath. Okay, alls it was was I had to wrest the wine opener back outta his hands after he offered to “help” me uncork a bottle of wine. You’d think my dapper tie might have inspired him to consult the “Things I Would & Would Not Do or Say If This Were a Guy” playbook. Ah well.

On the upside, news flash (b): every (old school, bio-male) dad I talked to was totally intrigued about our commonalities as non-birth parents. They found it fascinating to discover that many of the things defining their early experiences of parenthood weren’t due the limitations that biological maleness might place on their capacity to bond or nurture, so much as to the unique role of s/he who does not carry or bear the child, and then s/he who does not have the milk.

And why wouldn’t they presume that much of what distinguishes their parenthoods from that of their wives are simply those things that distinguish men from women? What’s to compare to? I would imagine most straight male fathers don’t know many lesbian moms, and few if any, know lesbo moms who think of themselves more like lesbian dads. Soon enough, they will. And at that point, I suspect they–and we all–will start to look at fatherhood in a new light.


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    LD's No on California Prop 8 fundraising

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    The time to step up is now.



    See that cute kid there on the right? My son. The day, this July, that my partner and I got hitched. It was our fourteenth anniversary. Help.



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    Featured election news/analysis:

    From "Gay marriages in California surpass those in Massachusetts,", Jessica Garrison, on 7 Oct., 2008, at the Los Angeles Times.



    Data released Monday (6 Oct 08) by UCLA's Williams Institute found that an estimated 11, 000 same-sex couples were married in CA since June 17, when the court began to allow them. (Since May 2004, over 10,000 have married in Massachusetts.)



    Pastor Jim Garlow of Skyline Church in La Mesa, who has been rallying voters to pass the constitutional amendment, said: "The fact that there are big numbers doesn't change the reality that it is still bad for the country."



    Garlow, who along with hundreds of other Christians, is observing a fast until election day as a way to show his support for the proposed amendment, added: "There are enormous numbers of people doing cocaine right now. . . . Simply because large numbers of people are doing something does not make it right."
    "Foes of gay-marriage ban say poll shows Prop. 8 leading," by Jessica Garrison, 8 Oct., 2008, in the Los Angeles Times:
    The opposition has enjoyed a healthy lead in several surveys taken by polling organizations that do not have a stake in the campaign. But officials with the No on 8 campaign held a conference call with reporters Tuesday to announce that their own poll showed the measure would pass by four points. Opponents attributed the result to fewer television ads, which is, in turn, a result of the No on 8 campaign falling behind in fundraising.
    From Geoff Kors, Equality California, in an email to EQCA and No on 8 supporters, 7 Oct., 2008:
    Our worst nightmares are coming true.



    Today we learned of the massive $25.4 million our opponents have raised so far. They are using this war chest to broadcast lies: 24/7 and up and down the state of California.



    And the polls show the lies are working. We need your donation now.



    Yesterday’s CBS 51 poll shows that:



    “…likely California voters overall now favor passage of Proposition 8 by a five-point margin, 47 percent to 42 percent. Ironically, a CBS 5 poll eleven days prior found a five-point margin in favor of the measure's opponents.”



    People change their minds about Proposition 8 when they hear the lie that churches will lose their tax-free status if they won’t marry same-sex couples – EVEN THOUGH THIS IS NOT TRUE!



    So this is crunch time. With less than a month before the election, we must get on the air now to answer these lies and swing votes back to our side.



    And the ONLY way to do that it to raise more money. The generous $15.8 million that our supporters have given isn’t enough. Not when the other side has nearly $10 million more than we do and the fundraising gap is growing.


    Earlier:



    Ellen DeGeneres: "My Political Point... And I Do Have One," on 24 Sept., 2008 at her site.



    Previous election news/analysis links can be found at this here Election news links page.

    Lesbian Dad 101

    Lesbian Dad Lesbian Dad is written by a parent who answers to the name "Baba" and works toward a world in which amor does indeed vincit omnia.

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