Comments on: Mommy wars, the lesbian episode, part 1: a wee bit of history http://www.lesbiandad.net/2006/08/02/56/ notes from the crossroads of mother and father Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:02:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Liza http://www.lesbiandad.net/2006/08/02/56/#comment-67 Liza Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:51:55 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/?p=56#comment-67 I struggled with this myself when I was pregnant. I'd just really gotten clear for myself that what I am here for, my mission in life, is to make a difference causing the security and recognition of LGBT families. In my mind that was supposed to look like lots of day to day activist work. But I was too damn tired to go to meetings. When I was about 6 months along, still beating myself up over not being the activist I thought I should be, I had the sudden realization that *right now* I was making that difference at a more fundamental level, growing my own LGBT family. And that who I am as a lesbian mom at work and at day care and at the pediatrician's office ALSO makes a difference in causing the security and recognition of LGBT families. Both what we do in the world, and how we are about who we are, in our ordinary daily lives, make a difference. I'm looking forward to part 2! I struggled with this myself when I was pregnant.

I’d just really gotten clear for myself that what I am here for, my mission in life, is to make a difference causing the security and recognition of LGBT families. In my mind that was supposed to look like lots of day to day activist work. But I was too damn tired to go to meetings.

When I was about 6 months along, still beating myself up over not being the activist I thought I should be, I had the sudden realization that *right now* I was making that difference at a more fundamental level, growing my own LGBT family. And that who I am as a lesbian mom at work and at day care and at the pediatrician’s office ALSO makes a difference in causing the security and recognition of LGBT families.

Both what we do in the world, and how we are about who we are, in our ordinary daily lives, make a difference.

I’m looking forward to part 2!

]]> By: drudolph http://www.lesbiandad.net/2006/08/02/56/#comment-44 drudolph Wed, 02 Aug 2006 21:49:27 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/?p=56#comment-44 I'm honored my post (and the NYT article) has inspired such an outpouring. I agree that those of us who feel ourselves in "bridge" positions (between conformity and radicalism, between mom and dad) play an important role as translators and mediators. Looking at the recent marriage rulings in NY and WA, it's obvious that we LGBT parents confound the status quo, and are central to the whole issue of LGBT rights. I think the battle ultimately won't be won in the courts or the legislatures, though they may provide the legal gloss. The battle will be won in the playgrounds and classrooms, as our children make friends and we engage with other parents of all stripes. Oh, I'd better stop here, though this is triggering a few other thoughts that may work their way onto my own blog. Can't wait to read part 2. I’m honored my post (and the NYT article) has inspired such an outpouring. I agree that those of us who feel ourselves in “bridge” positions (between conformity and radicalism, between mom and dad) play an important role as translators and mediators. Looking at the recent marriage rulings in NY and WA, it’s obvious that we LGBT parents confound the status quo, and are central to the whole issue of LGBT rights. I think the battle ultimately won’t be won in the courts or the legislatures, though they may provide the legal gloss. The battle will be won in the playgrounds and classrooms, as our children make friends and we engage with other parents of all stripes.

Oh, I’d better stop here, though this is triggering a few other thoughts that may work their way onto my own blog. Can’t wait to read part 2.

]]> By: LesbianDad http://www.lesbiandad.net/2006/08/02/56/#comment-43 LesbianDad Wed, 02 Aug 2006 21:20:50 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/?p=56#comment-43 Thank you, Trista! I am totally with you. A really fascinating thing is happening, and when this generation of the gayby boom grows up and goes on about their business, a lot of really interesting things--some things we can anticipate, and a lot we can't--are likely to be different. There'll be challenges, too, still, of course; but lordy. Thanks for reading through to the end of it all: part 2 is en route soon! Thank you, Trista! I am totally with you. A really fascinating thing is happening, and when this generation of the gayby boom grows up and goes on about their business, a lot of really interesting things–some things we can anticipate, and a lot we can’t–are likely to be different. There’ll be challenges, too, still, of course; but lordy. Thanks for reading through to the end of it all: part 2 is en route soon!

]]> By: Trista http://www.lesbiandad.net/2006/08/02/56/#comment-42 Trista Wed, 02 Aug 2006 15:59:50 +0000 http://lesbiandad.net/?p=56#comment-42 It's true how surprised I was at my own reactions to our having a child... My brain saw it as the most radical act of rebellion I could do -- have a child, create a family, defy my mormon culture that says gays must live lonely and alone without true family. My heart feels as if I have returned to some primal union with my ancestors. Very much a Lion King, Circle of Life kind of thing. Yes, having children is both radical and conformist. And, that's what makes it so effective in creating change. Besides the whole fact of raising a new generation that will look at queers and queer families in a completely new way. That's pretty effective, too. Can't wait to read part II. It’s true how surprised I was at my own reactions to our having a child… My brain saw it as the most radical act of rebellion I could do — have a child, create a family, defy my mormon culture that says gays must live lonely and alone without true family. My heart feels as if I have returned to some primal union with my ancestors. Very much a Lion King, Circle of Life kind of thing. Yes, having children is both radical and conformist. And, that’s what makes it so effective in creating change. Besides the whole fact of raising a new generation that will look at queers and queer families in a completely new way. That’s pretty effective, too.

Can’t wait to read part II.

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